Mr. Tidwhistle,
Do you ever send food back at restaurants? I’ve had a bad run of luck when dining out recently, from receiving home fries instead of the requested french fries at a diner to a super disappointing, overly-salty salmon dish at a fancy new restaurant. However, I usually feel too embarrassed to say anything. Is there a meter of good decorum when deciding when to send something back?
My theory is, if every time you go out, you send something back, you’re an asshole. However, if you do get something that is not right, you must send it back. They have accidents in kitchens. I can always tell when I give my order whether they are going to get it wrong. You can tell by the way they look at you, listen, and respond. You can tell they didn’t do too well in school because they lack the power of concentration. So when it comes and it’s wrong, you have every right to say, “This is wrong. It’s not what I ordered. Please fix it.”
However, if you are one of those picky people who finds fault with everything, that’s not OK. We all know those people. There’s always something wrong with the wine, the salad, the main course. They say something isn’t what they ordered, even though it truly is and they just changed their minds. That’s not OK. They’re impossible. But the bottom line is, you don’t have to be a victim if the waiter and the chef crap on your plate.
My sister borrowed a not-insignificant sum of money from me close to a year ago. We agreed at the time that the amount would be paid back in full within six months. Not only has she not paid a penny back, she changes the subject every time I try to bring it up. Even worse, when we hang out, she always wants to eat at expensive spots and have fancy cocktails – all while complaining about how broke she is. It’s not that I need the money, per se. I have a great job and certainly have more income potential than my sister, but I feel we need to settle the matter out of principle. How do I deal without having my sister hate me forever?
It’s quite simple. You set up a new boundary: “I will no longer lend you money, unless it is to bail you out of jail, bitch.”
You tried it and it didn’t work. What are you, the federal government, loaning to people who can’t afford their McMansions? No. We don’t do that. Even if she is your sister, she should pay you back if she said she would. Just chalk it up to a loss. Tell her, “I’ve realized that you’re not going to pay me back, and you don’t have to, but know that I will no longer lend you money. Do you understand?” Inform her that your Savings and Loan Institute has closed. Then you don’t look like a miser.
I’m really concerned about our food sources. The thought of factory farming makes me feel ill. And considering all the pesticides on our food scares me. My own neuroses and concerns are all well and good, if I’m eating alone. But whenever I go out, I can’t help but pepper the server or party host about the origin of the sweet potatoes or whether the eggs came from vegetarian-fed, cage-free hens. Is there a way to reconcile my beliefs without relegating myself to a lifetime of solitary dining in my apartment?
No. The answer is no. You either stay home and eat alone (or find someone that shares your same hang-ups) or you stop expecting the entire world to think the way that you do. This country is not there yet. We have a long way to go. We have chemical companies lobbying in Congress to put soda-loda-moda-foda-coda-odium in our food to lengthen the shelf-life of our food (Have you had a loaf of bread bought in this country go bad on you? Hell no.), not to mention all the other interest groups that are compromising our food. You can hold your beliefs, but you’re not going to win the battle by being difficult to everyone around you. What a pain you are, asking where the sweet potatoes came from. I would tell you it fell out of a horse’s ass.
You’re the horse’s ass. Keep your beliefs, but eat before you go out and leave your poor host alone.
Is there a minimum appropriate amount of time to spend at a wedding reception? And while we’re on the subject, is it completely inexcusable to skip the ceremony just to show up for the champagne toast?
No. They will have no idea whether or not you came to the church. In all honesty, lightning might strike it if you show up, so you should do everyone a favor and avoid the ceremony. Too many people go to the ceremony anyway. You should let them have an intimate, personal ceremony and join them for the reception. No one is going to notice how long you’re at the reception either. You are not that important.
Weddings have gotten completely out of control. If you want to go have a little champagne (or drink the whole bottle) and give them a gift, that’s great. By the way, you have a year to give them a gift, so you might wait on that too. The way things go nowadays, they’ll probably be divorced by then and you can save some cash.
We’re at the height of an incredibly contentious and divisive election season. I feel, deep in my being, that the future of this country hangs in the balance. I won’t share my political leanings, but we’ll just say that I am on a different side of the spectrum than my entire immediate and extended family. Worse yet, they love nothing more than to drink and discuss politics. You can imagine how quickly that gets out of hand. I am wondering: Is it OK for me to avoid them completely until Thanksgiving?
Of course. I don’t care if you never see them again in your entire life. Obviously you have no views, values, or standards in common with them. I don’t care which side you’re on. If people are that vehement and drunk, don’t be around it. No one needs propaganda. Last time propaganda really worked was with a certain man named Adolf, and we know how that turned out. Stay away from the drunk fascists!
Politics – it’s never going to be OK. Nobody wants this, nobody wants that, nobody wants to pay for the services we get. It’s impossible. We are not in control. Don’t forget that. That being said, you must vote, and hope for the best. We are in bad shape, but it could be worse.
TIMOTHY TIDWHISTLE IS AN ASSUMED NAME, BUT REST ASSURED HE IS A VERY REAL PERSON. IF YOU NEED
ADVICE, SEND US A MESSAGE AT HOLLER@THELOUISVILLEPAPER.COM
—MGMT.
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