I like to think I have a nomadic soul. If given the chance, I feel I could quite easily muster enough romance to embrace a sunset with nothing but a steely glint in my eye and a lonely song in my heart. The horizon beckons to some primordial spirit deep in my bones. The urge to wander into some great unknown churns in the simmering depths of my ancient pirate’s blood with a devil-may-care attitude. Or something like that.
While my aura may channel some deep-seated drive to voyage into the margins of the map, my physical life – and my bank account – remind me of the unfortunate truth plaguing modern explorers, a trekking buzz-kill more potent than scurvy or the clap: Things cost money. What’s a contemporary journeyman to do when faced with a myriad of financial foes burning the back pocket? Overpriced pit stop vittles, $50 bag fees, and $60 for a full tank of gas do not an adventure make. Less intrepid hearts might be resigned to a summer season of Netflix and cheap beer (still a highly acceptable pursuit). However, Louisvillians alive with adventure’s bite, despite decidedly slim wallets, need to look no further than the region’s bounty to fulfill the wanderlust call. Get your staycation on in sweet, local style no matter your traipsing tastes.
For the Lovers
Proponents of the romantic getaway can attest to the rejuvenating powers of eloping to some intimate locale for couples R&R. But jet-setting to some exotic private beach or a purring world-class metropolis can set you back a cool grand or more. Looking for a long, languid weekend with your lover? Save yourself some serious zeros, but sacrifice none of the allure, by visiting a bed and breakfast in Old Louisville. Surrounded by the charm only elaborate fireplaces and turrets can impart, Louisville’s historic B&Bs – such as Inn at the Park – can tickle your romantic fantasies without draining your savings account. Inn at the Park offers lovebirds 7,400 square feet of a beautifully restored Victorian home, gourmet breakfasts, private whirlpool tubs, and fluffy bathrobes, all a mere stone’s throw away from Central Park (if you actually decide to leave the room). With prices ranging from $129-$209 per night, you can charm the pants off your better half and still have some green left for a fire dragon roll and drinks at Caviar Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar downtown.
Inn at the Park
1332 South 4th Street
Louisville, KY 40208
innatpark.com
Caviar Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar
416 West Muhammad Ali Boulevard
Louisville, KY 40202
caviarsushibar.com
For the Classic
I know your flava. You dig your white picket fence and take Max the golden retriever for a jog at E.P. Tom Sawyer State Park on Saturdays. It’s cool; my dad lives next-door. As classic vacationers, you are probably a nuclear family unit. And the economy has probably been a grade-A bitch on your fun factor the past few seasons. Has the travel bug bestowed some nasty, untreated welts? Soothe your family’s summer break jitters without dipping into those precious college funds. Take a trip into the heart of Louisville’s downtown and hit up Museum Row on Main. The historic West Main District dishes out plenty of indoor playtime with eight museum attractions in one completely walkable 5-block stretch. Run the gamut on family-approved shenanigans and choose from 21c Museum Hotel, the Frazier History Museum, Glassworks, Kentucky Museum of Art and Craft, Louisville Science Center, Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory, the Muhammad Ali Center, and The Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts. Prices range from totally free for 21c’s contemporary art exhibits to $7.75 for a guided tour of Glassworks to $18 per adult for exhibits and IMAX at the Louisville Science Center. Plan on $5 for lot parking and bring some extra cash for a dreamy, ice-creamy treat from The Comfy Cow at Mrs. Potter’s Coffee Lounge & Cafe.
Museum Row on Main
Main Street between 5th Street and 9th Street
(with Glassworks located at Market Street and 9th Street)
museumrowonmain.com
Mrs. Potter’s Coffee Lounge & Cafe
718 West Main Street
Louisville, KY 40202
mrspotterscoffee.com
For the Wild Card
You are the salty sea captain of the vacationing world. You are solely responsible for keeping Louisville at its weirdest. You are not afraid of Waverly Hills Sanatorium. And you know the ins, outs, and upside-downs of this city like a smooth lover. How does a humble writer like me make a staycationer out of a fearless cat like you? I’m sending you into the sticks. Cave City? We both know that Dinosaur World is amateur hour for a real veteran of venturing. Kentucky Down Under? You invented the wallaby. No, to test your expedition limits travel east, my friend. Just a measly hour and a half away from Louisville’s bright lights is a rare Kentucky gem. Welcome to the Vent Haven Museum. According to the website, it is “the world’s only museum dedicated solely to the art of ventriloquism.” Yup. Founded by William Shakespeare Berger, a Cincinnati businessman and the former president of the International Brotherhood of Ventriloquists, Vent Haven Museum offers by-appointment-only guided tours that introduce thrill-seekers to Berger’s vast collection of over 700 ventriloquist figures and thousands of photographs, playbills, and books – some of which date to the 1700s. For $5 in admission, plus a tank of gas and an open mind, Louisville’s wildest wanderers can satiate their seasoned palates and still treat friends to a round at The Back Door and one heck of a good story.
Vent Haven Museum
33 West Maple Avenue
Fort Mitchell, KY 41011
venthavenmuseum.com
The Back Door
1250 Bardstown Road
Louisville, KY 40204
thebackdoorlouisville.com
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